Boy or Girl?

Two posts back to back (I was lazy last week and forgot to upload the first belly shot)...aren't yall lucky? So, I have now hit 16 weeks and Chad and I are anxiously awaiting our next appointment and sonogram. I can't wait to start refering to 'the fetus' (as it so lovingly called right now) as he or she....or at least 'baby boy' or 'baby girl'. The pregnant belly has definitley brought on mixed reactions, I think for Chad it makes the idea of a baby more real, and so he's starting to develop interesting ideas on fatherhood, and saving money....

So next week we finally discover what type of anatomy our fetus is packing. If it turns out to be of the male variety, then I have my own personal servant to begin doing yard work in about 3 years or so from now. If it's a girl, then it won't be allowed out of the house until the age of 18. Regardless, it's a very exciting time and it's got me thinking more and more about the actual birth.

Now that we're in the trenches of this recession, hospital fees seem outrageously expensive. Not to mention, has anyone ever really felt comfortable and at ease while staying in a hospital? What if there was a solution to both of these problems? It recently occurred to me (after a call from Marla, Chad's mom) that we don't get enough use out of our hot tub and, so far, it hasn't been worth the investment. Until now.

Freebirthing may seem outdated and unrealistic, but I'm having trouble finding any negatives. Here's the scenario I've been picturing in my head: I'd like to host a large barbecue in the backyard with all of our friends and family. We'd probably serve hot dogs and initiate a competitive washer tournament. In the meantime, we'd have Tracy hanging out in the hot tub in a swimmer's cap and goggles. We'll keep all of the delivery tools in the fire pit so that they remain sterile. When the baby starts trying to crawl out, we'll all gather around and chant Tracy's name. This will be just like when Reggie Jackson stepped up to bat before that 3rd home run in the World Series. Because I spent 7 years acquiring a Health Science degree, I figure I'm almost a doctor. I don't anticipate having any problems delivering this child. We can even have Hutch jump in with one of those underwater disposable cameras to catch some action shots. Again, what could possibly go wrong?

Goodbye Allen Belly, Hello Baby Bump

Well, it's official. Tracy's fetus cocoon is expanding. It's small for now, but noticeable and growing like a chia pet. I can only assume that she will look like one of those punching balloons by Easter. This brings up a whole other conversation on birthing vs. hatching, but I'll save that for another time.

That's right, the baby bump is here. I was hoping to get away with another month or so without showing (less time feeling large), but Baby Sones has decided to let everyone know he or she is in there.

Gerber vs. Gremlin

So that fetus of ours is finally starting to look semi-human. This is making me feel goode for a couple of reasons. For starters, it had previously looked eerily similar to something from out of this world or of a different species. Sort of like a Velociraptor or Shia Lebeouf. The second reason for my relief is due to Tracy's baby photos. Have you ever heard the saying "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus?" While I'm fairly confident that I was spawned on Earth, I haven't ruled out Tracy coming from Venus. Sure, I think we'll all agree that Tracy is a more attractive adult than me. I know what you're thinking -- "Chad, you're the epitome of perfection." But let's me honest, I get by on my winning personality, champion charisma, and ability to brighten any room. Tracy, on the other hand, can get by on looks alone. However, this wasn't always the case.


As a baby, I was constantly turning down offers to be the next Gerber baby. I realized my potential as an infant but I just didn't like the politics of it. In the meantime, Tracy was turning down the role of the "albino gremlin" in the Gremlins movie. Perhaps she was born as a beautiful Mogwai but, at some point, she ate after midnight. So what I'm really hoping for, is a child to look like me as a baby, then morph into Tracy around age 3 or 4.


This past Friday, we got an up close look at our fetus. It was bouncing around like a logo on a screensaver. At best, it looked very athletic. At worst, it looked like a hockey player. At one point, it turned and looked straight at me. I got chills and wondered if it was angry about the ultrasounds being fired at it or if it was simply sizing me up. Regardless, the heartbeat has slowed to 150ish which now could mean boy. I don't really believe any of the heartbeat nonsense.

On a side note, I have always imagined my baby being delivered by Cliff Huxtable. So, in an effort to make us more comfortable, I have submitted a written request to our doctor asking for him to begin wearing ugly sweaters and maybe even a little bit of blackface. I'll keep you all updated.